Verbal referee abuse isn’t something that just happens to me, giving my personal experiences and opinion on referee abuse is one thing, but listening to other referees and getting their views and experiences on the topic is another. Especially as everyone’s personal experience is likely to be different. By putting referees experiences of verbal abuse together, you can begin to get an outlook on what it is like and the severity of the situation.
So to get another opinion I had a discussion with an ex-grassroots referee, as it was grassroots football I wanted to focus on as I feel this is where there is a large problem with referee abuse, especially as I have previously experienced it myself.
My discussion was with Jed, who was a grassroots referee for only a year, but in this year he was at the centre of multiple incidents of being verbally abused. Like most referees, Jed wanted to become a referee to remain involved in the game and to understand what it was like to be a referee and control the game. He refereed multiple age ranges from U7 all the way to men’s football. Now like millions across the country, Jed wears glasses everyday for all situations. However he didn’t wear them when refereeing. During our discussion he discussed how he was afraid to wear them whilst refereeing as he didn’t want to be targeted by players, coaches and parents for having to wear them. He felt like wearing them wouldn’t put him at a high chance of being verbally abused as a parent may use the fact they wear glasses against them if they think that they got a decision wrong. He went on to say that actually he used to judge the referee based on what he looks like whilst he used to play himself, saying that this made him aware that he would receive the same treatment.
The few times he got verbally abused he mentioned that it arose because of a decision he made, and that the abuse he received was based around his vision, or lack of it. When I asked if he felt like he knew who he could speak to regarding verbal abuse, and if he was aware of the support networks, he wasn’t. He felt like the county FA didn’t give him enough guidance on who he can speak to for help and support. I can relate to this when I started refereeing, I was completely unaware of what support networks there were for me to speak to. It’s only recently that I have become aware of who I can speak to regarding verbal abuse, and the biggest reason for that is that I am now part of the team in my FA that deals with these issues. Now considering that I’ve been a grassroots referee for almost six years now, it is worrying that it is only recently that I’ve learnt who I can speak to. This is definitely an issue at grassroots level because myself and Jed both know referees that also don’t know who they can talk to.
I was very interested by just how much pressure Jed felt about wearing his glasses, to the point where he didn’t wear them. I don’t understand why people not only in football, but in society in general get verbally abused for wearing them. What is the reason/need to do this. From what Jed said he thinks it’s because its a way to target someone for being different. I think it’s because it’s a stigma, it’s essentially a label that someone who wears glasses is likely to have someone make a comment to them about it, which is completely unfair.
In the final part of our discussion, we spoke about where the abuse is coming from. Jed said that on the whole he never had an issue with managers or players, but it was actually the parents where it was coming from. This is such a big issue. As Jed says, at the younger age groups the kids are there to have fun and play football, to the parents they want their kids to win. I’ve refereed an U7’s game before and received an abuse. I remember at the time thinking these kids are seven years old, and here I am being sworn at by parents for awarding a penalty. We both agreed that more needs to be on controlling parents, and actually educating them on the way to behave whilst watching grassroots football. This is something you wouldn’t think you’d need to teach, but in actual fact, it is a massive issue that only gets worse as the players get older.
It was is disappointing to hear that Jed doesn’t think abuse can ever be completely eliminated from grassroots football, I completely agree with this, which actually is something I feel sad saying because no one referee should arrive thinking that it could happen. It also shows what is wrong with the world, there is much more important things to be concerned about at the moment than verbally abusing a referee. For me it always goes back to the same old point with really football in general, if there isn’t a referee, the game can’t happen. People need to realise this sometimes. And more specifically to grassroots football, the majority of referees are under eighteen, they are kids! Would a parent speak to their child, the same way they may have spoke to a referee before. This is a point I want to get across to clubs under my FA, and with my role of being a referee mentor I am doing my upmost to make sure that not only new referees but younger ones as well, know who they can speak to. Refereeing is a lonely world, and yes things will go wrong and things will be said, it’s all about knowing how to cope with this and being aware of who can help. I am very grateful to Jed for accepting the interview and giving his view and personal experience, on referee abuse.
For the full interview click on the link below:
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